Growing up, I believed in God but I never developed any sort of relationship with Him. When people asked me what I believed in, I would say, “I’m Christian, but I’m not religious.” I started to question why I believed in God. Swayed by my friends when I was around 12 years old, I came to the conclusion that He didn’t exist. During high school, I began to suffer from depression and I would look towards drinking, parties, and relationships in order to fill the void. Although outwardly I would act lively, I never felt happy. No matter how many people were around me I always felt alone. Coming to college it was hard for me to cope with moving over 1,000 miles away. The distance away from people I loved was very difficult for me because they were the only pillars really holding me up.
In the first week of school, I was approached by an intern in a campus ministry that was really kind and exuded happiness. She invited me to their large group meeting, and I went on and off, but mainly for the free food. I wished I could believe in God due to their positivity and kindness, but I still felt like there wasn’t enough proof to support Christianity. During that semester, I tried to end my life. I woke up in a hospital bed crying out to God. I desperately asked that if He exists that He would make Himself known. Through that experience, I believed that He was the one who saved me from death. A few months later, I decided to surrender my life to Him. I told God I wanted to follow Him, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t really tell anyone about what was going on internally so it was hard for me to grow.
One day a friend invited me to go to church at Cornerstone. Consequently, I met a girl who asked me to hang out. I was hesitant because I wasn’t used to hanging out with Christians, but I was drawn by the sincerity. While conversing with her, I felt convicted because I was claiming to walk in the way of the Lord but was still conforming to the world. I really wanted a change in my life but I was afraid of not having fun and of being alone again. I was thankfully mistaken!
I started meeting for Bible studies with her and a campus minister. They helped me to learn how to walk out my decision to follow Jesus. Once I chose to never believe the lies of the enemy, I began to change and grow in my relationship with the Lord. Jesus has healed me of things I never thought could be healed. I know I am His and that He has paid for me. There is no disappointment when I come to Him and there is no falling away. I know He will always be there for me, and the expectations I have now of Him and of my life are of goodness and righteousness. I know that His word is true and everything He has promised, He will do.